hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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