Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
