So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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