Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
