its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
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Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
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Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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