scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
