If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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