I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize