Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize