Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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