Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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