we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize