Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
