I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
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