miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize