I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
