Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
