dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
So many bounce houses so little time
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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