turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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