Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize