Im at strip club and am horny
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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