your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
