If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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