my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
