I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she peed on how many people?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
