I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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