the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
