Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
