The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
