So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Is it because I queefed?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Alive.
So much puke
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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