I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
