her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I love having hate sex.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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