How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
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