Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
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I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
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No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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