I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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