your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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