conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
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He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
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I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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