my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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