Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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