i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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