He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
