I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
