even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
