If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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