I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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