I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Threesome in a minivan. New low
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Randomize