Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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