He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
