I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
