im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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