Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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