Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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