Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
