i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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