hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
