no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
