I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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