LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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