he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize