i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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