yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
