That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
