Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
