You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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